On the Spirit Temple

All things considered, I rather like the Spirit Temple. It’s atmospheric, suitably challenging without being brain-bustingly hard, and, unlike the Shadow Temple, doesn’t have an abundance of Wallmasters. Which are creepy as fuck.

I particularly enjoyed the boss battle against Ganondorf’s adoptive mothers, Kotake and Koume. They were pretty difficult, actually, but it did take me a while to work out how to use the Mirror Shield correctly. And, well, I do enjoy fire and ice and things.

What confuses me, though, is how they manage to morph from this:

Pictured: slightly goofy-looking witches.

To this:

Pictured: surprisingly pretty mutant hybridthing.

Some things mortal man was just not meant to know.

Gaby and the Jesus Boots

The Shadow Temple irritates me. I mean, it helps to be on your guard whenever you’re in a Zelda dungeon, but for some reason, in the Shadow Temple, I’m just unusually on edge, even for a creepy Zelda dungeon. It’s like constant vigilance up in there.

Uhm. Anyway. On the bright side, I got the token dungeon item already! All it required was beating another one of those stupid Dead Hands, which aren’t challenging as much as irritating. Then I warped straight out of there, eager to see what these babies could do.

I picked up a couple of Pieces of Heart just for kicks, and while running around, I realised something.

…holy fuck, they let you run on water.

Hence, they have been dubbed the Jesus Boots. No takebacks.

Fuck the Gerudo

“That’s what you get for underestimating me!”

 

I despise the Gerudos and their stupid fortress with a passion. asdfghjkl;

Also, how is it possible to underestimate an angry, redheaded woman dual-wielding scimitars?

Morpha: The Most Underwhelming Boss Ever?

So, I finally beat the Water Temple. And, well, is it just me or is Morpha just a bad boss?

It’s an unforgiving fight. Morpha, despite what the artwork might suggest, is in fact the nucleus rather than the tentacles. Winning the battle consists of using the new, improved Longshot to extract the nucleus and then doing a good ol’ fashioned, tried-and-tested flurry of sword slashes. And it can deal out some serious damage in the meanwhile, not helped in the slightest by the array of spikes around the edge of the room

My first issue with Morpha is that, well, the Water Temple is the sixth dungeon (out of the customary nine), so surely you’d expect its boss to have more than one stage, right? WRONG. I mean, it grows another tentacle. Doesn’t even stop for a mini-cutscene in the middle or anything. It really has only one attack – squeezing you with a tentacle and then proceeding to throw you across the room. It’s irritating, yes, but hardly challenging. Personally, I found Phantom Ganon a lot harder to deal with; hell, Bigocto, of all things, was more difficult.

Pictured: an actual threat.

 

My second big issue with Morpha is that it’s pretty damn hard to tell if you’re actually doing it right. Hell, I just kept hitting that damn nucleus in the hope that I could get it to shift form, and next thing I know, it’s dead. This was… surprising, to say the least. Most other bosses at least give you an indication that you’re actually doing some damage, right?

Anyway, long story short, Morpha sucked. But I’d imagine that the Spirit and Shadow Temples would be far more interesting, hmm?

First World Problem #1: I Wish I Owned A Decent PC

Chances are if you’re reading this blog, you’ll know that I have a penchant for video games (did all the Zelda posts tip you off big-time or what?) What you might not know, though, is that I’m pretty much exclusively a Nintendo gamer. Which has been bugging me more and more lately.

There are so many good games out there which I’m missing out on because I’m saddled with this piece of school-owned junk. Just about everything Valve’s produced, for one (including Team Fortress 2, which is free), plus the Mass Effect trilogy, the Dragon Age games, the Elder Scrolls series, the inevitable L.A. Noire port, and bucketloads of free games like GunBound and League of Legends.

I feel like I’m genuinely missing out on a *lot* here.

Which totally explains why, in late 2012 or early 2013, after I finish school, I plan to acquire an awesome computer and just load endless amounts of PC games I’ve always wanted to play onto it. Can’t wait, to be honest. (Shame about the year and a half still to go, really).

In Defense of Farore’s Wind, or: Remember That Spell You All Thought Was Useless?

There seems to be quite a lot of hate for Farore’s Wind out there on the intertubes; the consensus seems to be “it’s a useless spell inside dungeons, and even more so outside of them”. Well, with a bit of intelligence, it can actually be one of the most useful items in the game.

Take Wallmasters, and their irritating tendency to fling you back to the entrance to the dungeon. Is it that fucking hard to cast the spell as soon as Navi says “Watch for the shadows of enemies that hang from the ceiling” (or whatever it is she says)? Then, if the hand grabs you, all you have to do is cast it again and end up back in the same room, ready to recast if you so choose. Granted, Wallmasters are still pretty creepy, but this nullifies the most annoying aspect of dealing with them.

And I’d have given anything to have a similar spell when slogging through the Forbidden Fortress – either time, really – in Wind Waker. Is it that hard to rub two braincells together and use what you’re given to your advantage? Apparently so.

P.S. And yes, this is a lacklustre post, but I felt like blogging, so hopefully you can deal with it.

P.P.S. Oh, yeah, I’m nearly finished the Water Temple too. I just need to run up that damn slope and then I’m in the boss room.

Why I Hate the Bolero of Fire

Did I mention that I hate the Bolero of Fire?

For one, for a series renowned for its high-quality music, the song itself is ordinary and unmemorable. I mean, I have nine songs thus far (ten if you count the Scarecrow’s), and I have no trouble recalling any of them – except for that damn Bolero. It’s just thoroughly unexciting.

Secondly, it warps to a fairly useless part of the world. Sure, Death Mountain Crater may be conveniently located right behind Darunia’s room, but it requires a clawshot (which is only equipable as Adult Link) in order to make it across the lava and into Death Mountain proper. So, of course, travelling to Death Mountain as Young Link poses a problem, especially in the absence of Epona. To get there from your house in Kokiri Village requires warping to the Temple of time, then walking to Kakariko Village, and then trekking up the tedious Death Mountain Trail. At least.

Also, it’s apparently about friendship. What the fuck?

(Also, if you care, I’m currently in the Water Temple. And dear god do I love the longshot. ‹3)